The Hobbit.. A movie goer's tale

OK.....
I'll just skip the excuses of why I don't update this anymore, and just get right to my review of the most anticipated movies for me in a long time...

I became a 9 year old again today, beaming from ear to ear looking forward to everything that this movie had in store for me, then the trailers began.

Trailer 1: Jack The Giant Killer
It's the 1st I've heard of this movie, so I'll look up more before getting to deep, but my first thought was that Hollywood has no more stories of their own until......

Trailer 2: Die Hard whatever
I'm worn out of Die Hard movies. I don't hate any of them, even the last one, but this amount of sequels is feeling more like Friday The 13th style of "punch it out, make some money" format that I am beginning to loath.

Trailer 3: Man Of Steel
This was one of the 4 reasons I went to see the movie. once it was over, I was so disapointed. I believed that I was seeing a new trailer, what I saw was the same trailer I had seen just a week earlier on YouTube. The trailer itself was ok, nothing mind blowing. It left a few questions unanswered, like who was the villain (I knew before the trailer but if I knew little, I was told nothing). It didn't want me to kick the door in to see the movie.

Special preview: Star Trek
Another reason for this viewing. The opening 9 minutes of the next Star Trek Movie. I will say that in 3D Faux-IMAX (I call it that because they sell the movie as IMAX, while the screen is more mini-IMAX) everything popped just right. I thought it was funny to go see a movie with Martin Freeman (Watson), and a trailer has Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock). The preview did peek my interest even more, which is what a good trailer is supposed to do!

The Main Event!
The past few days, I have heard people just flat out bitch about everything they could about this movie. Granted I may be biased, as I was REALLY looking forward to viewing, but from a logical standpoint, many of the people screaming for murder of Peter Jackson, I feel, are just attention whores.
I read the book when I was young, and The Hobbit, Lord Of The Rings, Lion/Witch/Wardrobe, & Lord Of The Flies were my favorite books before the teenage years (or as I called them "The Dark Decade"). Earlier this Summer, I bought an extremely nice hardcover of The Hobbit, and was reminded how awesome this single book is. I saw the Rankin/Bass animation, and it helped with much of the visual that I did not do myself while reading, or helped refine how some things would look.
Let's address some of the things with the story while trying not to spoil anything, which is not that easy.

-Each of the dwarfs had a colored hood in the book, this was missing, but in hindsight, I can agree with the move as the different colors would had made it look too comic-book-ish. This is just one of a few minor changes I noticed.

-There was no Beorn. When I saw the trailer, there was an image of a man hunched over a curled up hedgehog. "That must be Beorn the woodsman" I thought. To my surprise it was The 7th Doctor himself, Sylvester McCoy, playing the part of The Brown Wizard, Radagast. A character who was only mentioned in the book. Radagast, and Beorn are very similar in several ways with their love of animals, and plants, but where Beorn is a Man/Bear hybrid, Radagast has an hint of crazy to him. This was the biggest change to the story, and I don't know if they will use Beorn later, out of place, and/or increase Radagast's roll even more, but from what I saw, it was handled very well.

That's it for the story portion, but one thing that I was shocked by was during the credits, I saw the name of  Benedict Cumberbatch! So we have Sherlock in both a preview before, and in the movie itself! Very cool.

Now my take on the High Frame Rate issue. I've read how some people hate it, or how it looks like everything is moving at normal plus half speed. This was something I was very curious about, and after seeing it, it's hard to say which way I lean. In the night scenes, it looked beautiful. But you will notice it in the daylight scenes. And it will be hard to shake at the beginning of the movie with lots of action going on.
When you have watched 24fps all your life, it is difficult to adjust to how smoothly everything looks, and moves. I only noticed it a handful of times, and to be honest, it never bothered me once. People in general love to moan, and in this day, few give things a chance before writing it off forever. I don't think this big budget, hotly anticipated movie should had been the launching ground.

In the parking lot, I overheard 3 teenaged girls say "That was a disgrace to the original" I rolled my eyes, and just before leaving ear-shot I heard "The first Red Dawn was way better"

wtf?

New to dvd/blu ray this week.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Here is the one I'm going out to get even though I missed it in theaters. I LOVED the first movie, and expect this one to be just as good.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
 This is a tricky one. Never saw it on big screen, but I may red box the thing.


Tyler Perry's Good Deeds
Oh look TP made a movie without the fat angry woman outfit! Still won't see it.


And honestly, if you heard of any of these following movies, you may be more of a shut in then me.
In Darkness


A Little Bit of Heaven


Monster Brawl


The Assault


Thin Ice

Weekend box office... Holy Shit?!?!?

 

Wow... I mean wow... I did NOT see that coming. I knew Snow White would drop, but never thought people would go in flocks to see Madagascar. AND it beat out Prometheus! It was a very confussing weekend to say the least!

MIB3 & Avengers held strong. Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is still climbing the charts. What To Expect, Battleship, and The Dictator are the makings for a true shit sandwich. Moonrise Kingdom is another all-star cast movie that climbed into the 10th spot after 2 weeks.

New to BIG screen 6/8/12

Some time this month was to be the original release for G.I. Joe Retaliation, but was moved to March 2013 so they could film extra scenes after poor test screenings, and include 3D elements, which in my opinion is a very bad thing. I've got nothing against 3D, but when it gets rushed into the process when it was never intended to begin with, negative things can happen. Wrath Of The Titans had 3D installed after filming due to Avatar's smashing success, and the reviews said you could tell. The 3D didn't look right and was choppy, And I'm afraid the same could happen with good ol' Yo Joe.

I had seen Avengers in 3D, but I wasn't blown away by it, and even forgot it was until I reminded myself what these glasses on my face were for.

So I'm not a big fan of 3D, but not against either. I just know I won't pay extra. Now here is what IS coming out this week:

Prometheus 

 After last weeks craptastic releases, this one should be gangbusters!! 
(not sure if the following is a spoiler or not but here goes....) 
A prequel to Aliens, but not exactly. It gets hazy, Blade Runner hazy, and truthfully, I have avoided reading about it so I don't spoil anything for myself. As a HUGE Alien series fan (that includes Alien3, AvP, & AvP2), I am really looking forward to this!

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

... 3, Really? Didn't know they made a 2nd! My wife & I saw the first in theaters years ago, and thought it was cute, and safe.. but my god, was it short. Or at least it felt short, let me go check.... yep! 86 minutes. That's too damned short for a full feature theatrical film, but the sequel is 89, and this one is 85!!! (get the Seinfeld reference?) Wow. That is WITH credits!! It's amazing that studios charge full price, and more for IMAX or 3D for anything under an hour & half. This must be a Dreamworks thing. Puss in Boots, Kung Fu Panda 2, Megamind, & How to Train Your Dragon all between 90-100 minutes. Pixar is guilty of this too at times but at least their movies don't feel short (I dare you to watch Toy Story 3, UP, or Wall-E and not tear up)

I'm holding out hope that one of the animals dies this time around. That Giraffe is long over due. Remember when they we're not afraid of killing a cartoon character in front of our eyes? From Bambi's mom, to Optimus Prime, to Mufasa we cried over the loss, and got on with our lives. I think it made us better people as a whole. Just don't kill those annoying penguins, their death would be empty and meaningless.

5 others in limited or just LA/NY release. So these are most likely, your only picks for a new flick. I say throw everything behind Prometheus, and see what happens!

New to DVD 6/5/12

 Here are just some of the movies coming out today on DVD and Blu Ray. Lots to choise from:


John Carter
The movie that killed Rich Ross's career. To be truthful the guy green-lit a number of box office flops, and hits. But between this and Mars Needs Mom's, it didn't look good for him. I will watch it when it's out on Netflix if ever, but I don't have a clue what it's about. Never read the book, or anything about the movie.


Breaking Bad Season 4
My problem is I don't have a DVR, so I miss ALOT of tv shows, cable or not. I get the concept behind the series, and wonder how they could stretch cooking meth into four years running.


Safe House
I don't even remember when this was in theaters, but I'm willing to bet it's just like any other Denzel Washington cop movie, only with 100% more Ryan Reynolds!


Yellow Submarine
Now you can get wasted in glorious Blu Ray High Def!


Workaholic Season 1 & 2
I think I already have this one my Netflix Instant Cue.

The Sting: Universal's 100th Anniversary

This is one of many movies out on Blu Ray as part of Universal's Century Celebration, and this is a MUST OWN movie is any format.


Journey 2
I'll watch it just for the chance that The Rock may elbow drop a huge beetle! Hopefully, he's done making shitty movies like Tooth Fairy.

WWE: ECW Unreleased Vol 1
I am both pumped, and leary about this one. I'm a huge ECW fan, and looooooooooved "The Rise & Fall Of ECW", and every single other ECW DVD.... except the last one. The last ECW DVD that WWE put out was very recent matches so they were fresh in memory, but it was also very short. I still plan on getting it because I am that big of a fan.


Smokey and the Bandit: Universal's 100th Anniversary
YES!!!!! Love everything about this movie and how stupid it, and the 1st sequel is. The 3rd movie pushed even my limits.



King Kong
This is the Peter Jackson remake, which for one, I kinda liked. It was true to the original (if you ignore Jack Black), but that would be an awesome pack if a case had the 1933, 1975, & 2005 versions so you could compare the 3. The first is still my favorite.

Hoosiers: Universal's 100th Anniversary
One of THEE Greatest sports movies of all time!

Animal House: Universal's 100th Anniversary
I already own 2 different version of this movie (my record is 4- Terminator 2). Unless it has some the greatest extra features of all time, I see no need.

Casino: Universal's 100th Anniversary
Have all 398 "FUCKS" in 1020p!

The Big Lebowski: Universal's 100th Anniversary
I own this movie on reg DVD, but if the extras are nice, I may consider it on Blu Ray!

Spartacus: Universal's 100th Anniversary
The movie that spawned 1,000 gay jokes. It's still a classic despite the loin cloths.


Honestly, this list just keeps going & going because of the Universal blu ray party (I'm guessing around 100 of them) will be released over the coming weeks.

MTV Movie awards

So MTV had one of their two annual "look at me" award shows last night, this one for movies. No low budget flicks anywhere to be seen here!
But if you read the winners, you'd think there were only 3 movies (Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games).
When I was younger I would watch this show as Jim Carrey won an award, and say what a great idea this show is "We'll gather a bunch of top name celb's, give out some gold, and anyone who doesn't show up will look ungrateful!" They tape the show days in advance, and film in an order that seems to pander to these super-weathly snot rags just so they don't have to spend the entire time frame in their seats for the whole show (life of the Rich & Famous must be tough). Then with the powers of an editing god, they put together something that looks like it went live-to-tape.

Now I'm old enough to be outside of the viewing demo, and honestly, I think everything on MTV is pure crapola. Don't even get me started on the fucking Jersey Shore.


This is the harder of the 2 award shows to criticize, since the other is for music videos, and we all know what MTV did to those. I gave up on the channel not when they stopped playing music videos, but when they stopped Liquid Television, and Ren & Stimpy. I should had gave up after they stopped Remote Control.
While the most part, these awards are mainly main stream movies, while the Oscars are more about the art of film making, but even they tend to be political skewed, or lean low budget lovers.


The "MTV Generation Award" is something of a kiss of death with the past winners going into some kind of Hollywood Limbo. Tom Cruise, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon. All won & haven't had career ending movies, but they were not seen the same since which scares me a bit because they gave it to Johnny Depp this year.

Plus how seriously can an awards show be if the gave one to Kristen Stewart, 3 years in a row, for acting?

Weekend box office

Here's the final numbers from the weekend box office:

1			Snow White and the Huntsman Universal Pictures $56,255,432
2			Men in Black 3 Sony Pictures Releasing $29,300,000
3			Marvel's The Avengers Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures $20,273,000
4			Battleship $4,810,320
5			The Dictator $4,725,000
6			The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Fox Searchlight Pictures $4,600,000
7			What To Expect When You're Expecting Lionsgate $4,430,000
8			Dark Shadows Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution $3,860,000
9			Chernobyl Diaries Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution $3,045,000
10			For Greater Glory ARC Entertainment $1,800,000

So here's my take: Disappointed, but not surprised at the number 1 spot. Movies 2 and 3 again don't shock me. Battleship at 4- You think Liam Neeson has any regrets? The Dictator- Holding strong. Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is something I'll gladly check rent on DVD & it's holding up nicely thanks to an all-star cast. Movies 7, 8, & 9 are just barely hanging in there, and should be gone by next week. For Greater Glory did well for a low budget limited release.


Only 2 big money movies come out this week so I can't wait to see who the new #1 will be!

New on the big screen 6/1/12

Happy June everyone!
My youngest turns 1 tomorrow so we will be doing the stereotypical "give the baby a cake & let him smash it up". So that will be my excitement for the weekend.
By here's my take of the movies coming out this weekend that I can't see, but you may want to...or maybe see Avengers again....

Before I get started, I want to show my grading scale:
-Run! Go See It!
-Meh, Other Movies Are Sold Out
-Get/Rent On DVD
-Wait For Netflix
-PASS It Up For Your Own Sanity


-Snow White & The Huntsman
Or.. Bella & Thor. 
Where do I begin? This being the biggest movie this weekend, but I feel very confident that both MIB3 and The Avengers will out earn this thing. The trailer I have been bombarded with on tv (never made it a goal to look up and watch) looks like it was directed in a style similar of Guillermo del Toro. It's dark, has monsters, great effects, it even has 7 dwarfs (I was blown away when I saw the cast for the tiny men)! I think the world of Charlize Theron, and have been impressed by Chris Hemsworth in his 2 rolls as the god of thunder......but here's the thing no-one is talking about: Close your eye's and think about this- You're taking a poop, just sitting there, starring at the wall, it's a good poop, no straining, easy going, but still it's just you and your thoughts. Now think of the face you are making... not mad, or happy.. very empty minded.. expressionless. That is the acting style and face of Kristen Stewart.. all the time.. never ending. Like a bored cat.
I think the folks in marketing knew this, that's why you see Chris and Charlize more in the trailers then ol' stoneface.
Based on what I know, I say PASS unless you're one of those stupid teen-aged girls who love Twilight and needs more Robo-Bella McColdeyes.


-Battlefield America
Oh look! Another misfit bunch of kids dancing! We haven't seen this about 1,000 times before!! Seriously, who goes to watch these things, and why are they taking up valuable screen time when you could watch Hunger Games, or Think Like A Man again? I think these movies are trying to out print the Air Bud films.
PASS by this one while trying not to inhale the cloud of AXE spray from within.


-Piranha 3DD
What?!? Noooo Why would some of my fav actors take part in a piece of shit like this? Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, and .... well, The Hoff is in it too so that feels about right. Unreal that this is a sequel, and they got Gary Busey... well, again... what else is he doing?
And what are you doing going into this bloody shit stain? Netflix the bitch!


-Final word:
These are the main events coming out along with 4 low budget flicks in limited release. If I had to watch any of these it would be Piranha 3DD only because it knows what kind of movie it should be, and does live up to it's over-hyped, over-sexed, over-gore and it would have the worst spoilers (the fish eat people! oops!) The other 2 are complete pass ups, but Piranha 3DD would make a good guilty free Netflix viewing.

Busy & Lazy is a bad mix

If anyone does still read this, then I'm both shocked and thankful.


Being a father of 2, working a full time job with insane hours, and with my wife's recent health issues, I haven't had much time nor energy to treat this blog like I should. The lack of attention my comedy playoffs has received should be proof of that. But enough wah wah wahhing. Here's how I'm going to TRY and fix this:


Every Tuesday, I'll do a review of new movies out of dvd


Every Thursday or Friday, I'll do reviews of new movies out in theaters. (this one should be interesting since I can't get out to see them- 2 visits to local screens in the past 12 months)


Now excuse me, since my heroin will not cook itself...

New Spiderman movie

The new Spiderman movie comes out later this year, and when I first heard they were "relaunching" the franchise, I was VERY skeptical.
I thought with the first movie coming out just 10 years ago, it was WAY too soon for a reboot. But Marvel is on this re-do kick right now (the last Punisher movie, X-men 1st class, Hulk, now Spidy), but this one feels... un-patient I guess you could say so at first, I thought I would miss this one (I didn't see Thor or Cap America in theaters, the life of a dad I guess). 

But this new trailer that came out is giving something the series needed but never got around to it: -Gwen Stacy as Peter's first real love. 
-The Lizard. 
-And to a lesser degree web shooters (I was ok with it last time around as it became a power, and not gadget)

Will I see it? I'm on the fence, yet to be decided.

What if?

Star Trek carried on for years after Gene Roddenberry's death. Some of his ideas died with him such as Star Trek should be less military and more social, a noble, yet naïve thought. Both storys continued in a good balance (The last 2 TNG Movies should however be purged) More Star Trek, less hippies dancing.

Now imagine a Star Wars where George Lucas died after the special editions hit the theaters. Who's to say we would have Jar Jar Binks, or blinking ewoks?

Signs of no God

Just saw an ad for another Air Buddies DVD. Who in God's name is buying these things?!? Why do they keep making them?!?

Updates?? We don't need no stink'n updates!!!

Here's the latest:
Holidays are long over, so you'd think Jay and I would be going full bore into The Great Comedy Playoffs reviews..... You know what else goes down this time of year? Basic health. Both Jay & I caught some wicked throat... thing, and not the same thing either. I had a cough, he got something that came on much faster. Basically, neither of us have a voice, so the folks over at Cretins Guild Studios had to make a "Ghost Episode" for the 2nd round recap.

 Or, what you could call a Host-less episode. But aside from that, the brackets are moving along nicely. We've had upsets, close calls, blow-outs, and worse of all, controversy.


The down side to all this is that I have not had the chance to do any DVD reviews, but I have been thinking about how to renew the reviews. I thought about grabbing one of my DVD's at random, but that might not work (I own a bunch of crappy, uninteresting-but-not-to-me movies). But I have a bit of time to figure out how, and when they start back up again.

One idea is to make it a monthly web series. Why monthly? Short answer: I have two kids under the age of 3. Long unselfish reason: I want to make them entertaining, and put some quality into the videos, and that takes a bit of time. Especially since I only put real man-hours into the editing on weekend morning before the boys wake up!


Not enough for you? Follow my twits (yes, I know they are "tweets", I call them "twits", deal with it) @angrysoundbyte


Til next time my fellow Zoetropatics!