MTV Movie awards

So MTV had one of their two annual "look at me" award shows last night, this one for movies. No low budget flicks anywhere to be seen here!
But if you read the winners, you'd think there were only 3 movies (Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games).
When I was younger I would watch this show as Jim Carrey won an award, and say what a great idea this show is "We'll gather a bunch of top name celb's, give out some gold, and anyone who doesn't show up will look ungrateful!" They tape the show days in advance, and film in an order that seems to pander to these super-weathly snot rags just so they don't have to spend the entire time frame in their seats for the whole show (life of the Rich & Famous must be tough). Then with the powers of an editing god, they put together something that looks like it went live-to-tape.

Now I'm old enough to be outside of the viewing demo, and honestly, I think everything on MTV is pure crapola. Don't even get me started on the fucking Jersey Shore.


This is the harder of the 2 award shows to criticize, since the other is for music videos, and we all know what MTV did to those. I gave up on the channel not when they stopped playing music videos, but when they stopped Liquid Television, and Ren & Stimpy. I should had gave up after they stopped Remote Control.
While the most part, these awards are mainly main stream movies, while the Oscars are more about the art of film making, but even they tend to be political skewed, or lean low budget lovers.


The "MTV Generation Award" is something of a kiss of death with the past winners going into some kind of Hollywood Limbo. Tom Cruise, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon. All won & haven't had career ending movies, but they were not seen the same since which scares me a bit because they gave it to Johnny Depp this year.

Plus how seriously can an awards show be if the gave one to Kristen Stewart, 3 years in a row, for acting?

Weekend box office

Here's the final numbers from the weekend box office:

1			Snow White and the Huntsman Universal Pictures $56,255,432
2			Men in Black 3 Sony Pictures Releasing $29,300,000
3			Marvel's The Avengers Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures $20,273,000
4			Battleship $4,810,320
5			The Dictator $4,725,000
6			The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Fox Searchlight Pictures $4,600,000
7			What To Expect When You're Expecting Lionsgate $4,430,000
8			Dark Shadows Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution $3,860,000
9			Chernobyl Diaries Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution $3,045,000
10			For Greater Glory ARC Entertainment $1,800,000

So here's my take: Disappointed, but not surprised at the number 1 spot. Movies 2 and 3 again don't shock me. Battleship at 4- You think Liam Neeson has any regrets? The Dictator- Holding strong. Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is something I'll gladly check rent on DVD & it's holding up nicely thanks to an all-star cast. Movies 7, 8, & 9 are just barely hanging in there, and should be gone by next week. For Greater Glory did well for a low budget limited release.


Only 2 big money movies come out this week so I can't wait to see who the new #1 will be!

New on the big screen 6/1/12

Happy June everyone!
My youngest turns 1 tomorrow so we will be doing the stereotypical "give the baby a cake & let him smash it up". So that will be my excitement for the weekend.
By here's my take of the movies coming out this weekend that I can't see, but you may want to...or maybe see Avengers again....

Before I get started, I want to show my grading scale:
-Run! Go See It!
-Meh, Other Movies Are Sold Out
-Get/Rent On DVD
-Wait For Netflix
-PASS It Up For Your Own Sanity


-Snow White & The Huntsman
Or.. Bella & Thor. 
Where do I begin? This being the biggest movie this weekend, but I feel very confident that both MIB3 and The Avengers will out earn this thing. The trailer I have been bombarded with on tv (never made it a goal to look up and watch) looks like it was directed in a style similar of Guillermo del Toro. It's dark, has monsters, great effects, it even has 7 dwarfs (I was blown away when I saw the cast for the tiny men)! I think the world of Charlize Theron, and have been impressed by Chris Hemsworth in his 2 rolls as the god of thunder......but here's the thing no-one is talking about: Close your eye's and think about this- You're taking a poop, just sitting there, starring at the wall, it's a good poop, no straining, easy going, but still it's just you and your thoughts. Now think of the face you are making... not mad, or happy.. very empty minded.. expressionless. That is the acting style and face of Kristen Stewart.. all the time.. never ending. Like a bored cat.
I think the folks in marketing knew this, that's why you see Chris and Charlize more in the trailers then ol' stoneface.
Based on what I know, I say PASS unless you're one of those stupid teen-aged girls who love Twilight and needs more Robo-Bella McColdeyes.


-Battlefield America
Oh look! Another misfit bunch of kids dancing! We haven't seen this about 1,000 times before!! Seriously, who goes to watch these things, and why are they taking up valuable screen time when you could watch Hunger Games, or Think Like A Man again? I think these movies are trying to out print the Air Bud films.
PASS by this one while trying not to inhale the cloud of AXE spray from within.


-Piranha 3DD
What?!? Noooo Why would some of my fav actors take part in a piece of shit like this? Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, and .... well, The Hoff is in it too so that feels about right. Unreal that this is a sequel, and they got Gary Busey... well, again... what else is he doing?
And what are you doing going into this bloody shit stain? Netflix the bitch!


-Final word:
These are the main events coming out along with 4 low budget flicks in limited release. If I had to watch any of these it would be Piranha 3DD only because it knows what kind of movie it should be, and does live up to it's over-hyped, over-sexed, over-gore and it would have the worst spoilers (the fish eat people! oops!) The other 2 are complete pass ups, but Piranha 3DD would make a good guilty free Netflix viewing.

Busy & Lazy is a bad mix

If anyone does still read this, then I'm both shocked and thankful.


Being a father of 2, working a full time job with insane hours, and with my wife's recent health issues, I haven't had much time nor energy to treat this blog like I should. The lack of attention my comedy playoffs has received should be proof of that. But enough wah wah wahhing. Here's how I'm going to TRY and fix this:


Every Tuesday, I'll do a review of new movies out of dvd


Every Thursday or Friday, I'll do reviews of new movies out in theaters. (this one should be interesting since I can't get out to see them- 2 visits to local screens in the past 12 months)


Now excuse me, since my heroin will not cook itself...

New Spiderman movie

The new Spiderman movie comes out later this year, and when I first heard they were "relaunching" the franchise, I was VERY skeptical.
I thought with the first movie coming out just 10 years ago, it was WAY too soon for a reboot. But Marvel is on this re-do kick right now (the last Punisher movie, X-men 1st class, Hulk, now Spidy), but this one feels... un-patient I guess you could say so at first, I thought I would miss this one (I didn't see Thor or Cap America in theaters, the life of a dad I guess). 

But this new trailer that came out is giving something the series needed but never got around to it: -Gwen Stacy as Peter's first real love. 
-The Lizard. 
-And to a lesser degree web shooters (I was ok with it last time around as it became a power, and not gadget)

Will I see it? I'm on the fence, yet to be decided.

What if?

Star Trek carried on for years after Gene Roddenberry's death. Some of his ideas died with him such as Star Trek should be less military and more social, a noble, yet naïve thought. Both storys continued in a good balance (The last 2 TNG Movies should however be purged) More Star Trek, less hippies dancing.

Now imagine a Star Wars where George Lucas died after the special editions hit the theaters. Who's to say we would have Jar Jar Binks, or blinking ewoks?

Signs of no God

Just saw an ad for another Air Buddies DVD. Who in God's name is buying these things?!? Why do they keep making them?!?